


Familiar

by kathkin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-11
Updated: 2008-12-11
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A spell erases Arthur's memory. Hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin thought that Uther really should tighten security a little. Last night marked the second time an evil sorceress had got into Camelot disguised as a maid servant, though thankfully this was a different sorceress, who was rather less competent and was now languishing in the dungeons.

Merlin couldn’t feel that sorry for her. Because she’d attacked Arthur. She’d shouted a brief spell at him as soon as she was close enough, and he’d just keeled over. There’d been panic until Uther had made everyone be quiet so Gaius could assure them that Arthur was still alive.

Despite that, however, about fifteen people had showed up outside Arthur’s chambers. There was a rumour going around that he’d been murdered, they said. And Merlin almost believed them now Gaius had gone back to his rooms to sleep (having made Merlin promise to wake him if Arthur regained consciousness). He kept finding himself checking that Arthur really was still alive. He’d been dead to the world all night.

The sun was just coming up, and Merlin was just falling asleep himself, in a chair, when Arthur finally stirred. He sat up straight, and rubbed his eyes. Arthur looked up at him sleepily.

“Who are you?” he said.

“I’m… Merlin?” said Merlin.

“Oh,” said Arthur. “Right. And… who am I?”

Merlin stared at him. “Arthur, please tell me you’re just messing around,” he said.

-

“But you must remember _something_ ,” he said a few minutes later, as he paced the room nervously.

“You should sit down,” he said, leading him towards the bed. “I’ll fetch Gaius.”

“Who?” said Arthur.

“Gaius,” said Merlin. “Court physician. He said to fetch him when you wake up.”

“Oh, alright,” said Arthur, as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “And who are you? I mean, I know you’re Merlin, but… other than that?”

“Oh. Um. I’m your manservant,” said Merlin, somewhat reluctantly.

“Oh, really?” said Arthur. “You couldn’t get me something to eat, could you? I’m starving.”

“I’ll fetch Gaius first,” said Merlin, and turned to leave.

“Hurry back!” Arthur called after him.

-

“It really is very strange,” said Gaius. “Are you sure you feel alright?”

“More or less,” said Arthur. “My head aches. And I’m hungry. But other than that-”

“Merlin, go and fetch Uther, would you?” said Gaius, interrupting him. “He’ll be up, don’t worry.”

Merlin nodded and began to leave the room.

“Who’s Uther?” said Arthur.

“Your father,” Merlin said, over his shoulder.

-

Merlin couldn’t help but be a little nervous about interrupting Uther’s breakfast. Especially as he wasn’t exactly bringing good news.

“Oh,” said Uther as he was shown in. “It’s you. How’s Arthur?”

“He’s awake now,” said Merlin.

“Good,” said Uther, no longer interested.

“But,” said Merlin. “But, well-” Uther turned to face him again, looking so angry that Merlin broke off.

“Well _what_ _?_ ” he said, his voice so cold that Merlin was surprised nothing froze.

“He’s lost his memory,” said Merlin. “All of it. He doesn’t remember anything before waking up this morning.”

Uther’s expression somehow darkened even more.

“Sorry?” said Merlin, and edged away slightly.

Uther stood up suddenly. “I’m coming to see him,” he said, and marched out of the room, muttering something about jogging Arthur’s memory.

However, Uther’s presence did nothing for Arthur’s memory at all. If anything, he became more confused. Eventually, he left, concluding that Arthur did seem to be exactly as he’d been before, just… without any memories. And sorting that out could wait until after breakfast. Gaius agreed, and followed him.

“Am I really a prince?” said Arthur, sitting down on a chair. Merlin nodded. “I don’t feel very princely.”  He frowned, thinking for a moment. “Am I an only child?” he said. Merlin nodded again. “I thought I might be.”

“Well, there’s Morgana,” said Merlin. “But she’s not really your sister. She’s your father’s ward."

“Oh,” said Arthur, frowning again. “So I assume I’m going to be a king some day, then?”

“Oh,” said Merlin, smiling. “Yes.”

“I don’t even know where I’m going to be king of,” said Arthur.

“I’m sure you’ll get your memory back soon,” said Merlin. The more he thinks about it, the more sure he is that he saw a spell that might help. But he might have to wait a while. Until Arthur definitely wouldn’t notice.

Arthur made an uncertain kind of noise. “I’m still hungry,” he said.

“I’ll get you some breakfast,” said Merlin.

“Have you eaten yet?” said Arthur. Merlin shook his head. “Get something for yourself as well, then.”

Arthur without his memory proved to be rather easier to get along with. Merlin supposed it was because he’d forgotten that he thought his manservant was an idiot.

“Is there anything else I should know?”  He said over breakfast.

“Probably,” said Merlin. “Well. Everything, really.”

“So if that was my father,” said Arthur. “Do I have a mother?”

Merlin shook his head. “She died. Sorry.”

“Oh,” said Arthur, looking down at his plate. “When was that?”

“When you were born, I think,” said Merlin.

“So I never knew her, then?” said Arthur. Merlin nodded. “Well, at least that’s one more person I don’t have to feel bad about forgetting.” He frowned. “What’s Morgana like?”

“You argue a lot,” said Merlin. “She’s very... headstrong.”

“You were going to say ‘stubborn’,” said Arthur. “I know you were.”

“You don’t even really know me,” said Merlin.

“I think I do,” said Arthur. He leaned back in his chair, which creaked rather alarmingly. “You seem... familiar. Like the room.”

“Oh, really?” said Merlin. That seemed like a good sign. “Does anything else seem familiar? Your father? Gaius?”

Arthur shook his head. “No. Just you.” He leaned forward. “Tell me something more about you, then.” Merlin stared at him. “What?”

“You’ve never asked me anything like that before,” said Merlin.

“I’m just curious,” said Arthur. “I have a right to be curious. I just lost my memory, apparently.”

“Alright,” said Merlin. “What do you want me to tell you?”

Arthur shrugged. “Anything.”

“Fine,” said Merlin. “I used to live in a village called Ealdor with my mother. I came here a few months ago, and somehow I ended up working for you.”

Arthur laughed. “You make it sound like an accident.”

“It was,” said Merlin. “Your father has a strange idea of a reward, alright?”

“A reward for what?” said Arthur.

“Oh. Um. Saving your life,” said Merlin.

“Oh, really? Well... thank you,” said Arthur. Merlin smiled. “From a sorceress, I suppose?”

Merlin nodded. “Different sorceress, though.”

“What happened to her?”

“She’s dead.”

“You killed her?”

“Well... sort of,” Merlin stood up, and began to clear away the dishes.

“Can you try and be more vague?” said Arthur. “The detail is overwhelming me.”

“You were there,” said Merlin.

“Yes,” said Arthur. “But I’ve forgotten it all, apparently.”

“I’m sure it’s not permanent,” said Merlin. “You’ll get it back.”

“I’m not sure I will,” said Arthur. “Merlin, it doesn’t feel like I’ve just... forgotten it. It’s like I never remembered it at all. There’s really nothing. It’s not like this is going to wear off on its own.”

“It might,” said Merlin.

“You could ask the sorceress,” said Arthur. “Or did you kill this one too?”

“No,” said Merlin. “She’s in the dungeons.”

“So she could reverse it,” said Arthur.

“Your father wouldn’t let her,” said Merlin. “He doesn’t trust sorcerers.”

“What, none of them?” said Arthur. Merlin shook his head. “Why?”

“Magic’s illegal in Camelot,” said Merlin.

“Why’s that?” said Arthur. Merlin shrugged, and picked up his little stack of dishes.

“I’m taking these back to the kitchens. Stay in here while I’m gone. You might get lost.”

“Don’t be too long!” Arthur called after him.

Merlin was away for quite a while, long enough that Arthur got up and began to look around the room. While he was doing that, there was a soft knock at the door. He turned just in time to see a dark haired young woman walk in, and fold her arms.

“Oh,” she said. “You’re awake, then.”

“Uh... yes,” he said, and was about to ask who she was when she spoke again.

“Are you alright?” she said.

“I’m fine,” he said. “More or less.”

She raised her eyebrows. She looked a little surprised. “Are you sure?” she said. “You’re very... quiet.”

He tried to think of a polite way to phrase the question, but it seemed impossible. “Who are you, exactly?”

She glared. “Oh, don’t do that,” she said.

“Do what?” he said. “I honestly don’t know who you are.”

“Arthur, that’s really not funny,” she said. “It’s sad and immature.”

“But I really don’t-”

“I should have known you couldn’t be mature about this,” she said. “I shouldn’t have bothered coming.”

And with that, she turned on her heel and almost walked into Merlin, who’d just come in.

“Merlin, help!” said Arthur. “Who is she?”

“Morgana, Arthur,” said Merlin. “I did mention her.”

That made enough sense that Arthur was embarrassed not to have realised it himself. While he was thinking that, Merlin turned to Morgana.

“He’s lost his memory,” he said. She stared at him in disbelief. “No, really. The furthest back he remembers is waking up this morning. He doesn’t know who anyone is.”

Morgana turned and glared at Arthur. “You could have said,” she said.

“I did!” said Arthur, but she was already leaving. He sighed, and turned to Merlin. “Stubborn is the right word,” he said.

“Of course,” said Merlin. “Oh, and I think you should stay in here for the time being. Uther’s coming back later.”

Arthur groaned, and marched back over to the window. He was starting to get frustrated. The familiarity of the room was making him feel like he should remember more than he did. And Merlin didn’t help, having pretty much the same quality.

-

Uther instructed them both that they weren’t to let anyone know what had happened to Arthur until it was definitely permanent, and that Arthur should therefore not leave his room. Arthur’s response to this was to kick a chair so hard that it fell over, to Merlin’s surprise.

“Calm down,” he said as he righted it.

“I’m sorry,” said Arthur. “I just... I want to get out of here. Being in here makes me want to remember.”

“Don’t you want to remember anyway?” said Merlin. Arthur shrugged.

“For all I know I was miserable,” he said, crossing the room and throwing open the doors. “I think he’s gone,” he said, and stepped outside.

Merlin ran after him, and found him standing in the corridor, looking from side to side. “It’s big,” he said.

“It’s a castle,” said Merlin. “You should come back inside. Your father said-”

“Never mind him,” said Arthur. “Which way should I go?”

“Where are you trying to get to?” Merlin gave up. He supposed that, at least, this might stop all the rumours of Arthur being dead.

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t know. Which way would you go?”

“That would depend on where I wanted to go,” said Merlin. Arthur folded his arms and glared. “Usually that way,” he pointed to the right. “That’s the quickest way back to Gaius’ rooms.”

“Why would you want to go there?” said Arthur.

“I live there,” said Merlin.

“With Gaius?”

“I think he’s a friend of my mother’s. I’m his assistant, sometimes, as well.”

“Oh,” said Arthur, setting off to the right. Merlin darted back to close the doors. “How fun.”

 

A few minutes later, they met Gwen, carrying a stack of laundry, who smiled at them. Merlin stopped and turned. Morgana might have mentioned Arthur’s... predicament... to her, and she wasn’t much of a gossip, but still. He should say something.

“Gwen!” he called after her. She turned to face him. “Did Morgana tell you about Arthur?”

“What about him?” she said, as Merlin caught up with her. Arthur followed a moment later. “Well, she did say he’d lost his memory. Is that what you mean?”

Merlin nodded. “You haven’t told anyone else, have you?” She shook her head. “Good. Uh, don’t. Uther said not to.”

“I wouldn’t anyway,” she said, and turned to Arthur. “You’re alright, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “Gwen, yes?”

She nodded. “It’s Guinevere,” she said. “We’ve only spoken a few times, though. There’s no reason why you should remember me anyway. And I’d better go, now.” She held up the laundry, smiled again, and left.

“She actually seems slightly familiar too,” said Arthur.

“Really?” said Merlin. Arthur nodded. “That’s strange. You really have only spoken to her a few times.”

“Hmm,” said Arthur.

After a while, they met one of the knights, who greeted Arthur warmly.

“You’re alright, now, then, sire?” he said.

“More or less,” said Arthur.

“Will you be at practice later, then?” said the knight. Arthur stared at him blankly.

“Oh, he probably won’t be,” said Merlin. “He’s still recovering, really. He could hardly stand this morning.”

The knight nodded. “Tomorrow, then?” he said, addressing Arthur.

“Maybe,” said Arthur. “I don’t know. Good bye.”

He walked away as quickly as he could manage, then turned to Merlin as soon as he was sure they were out of earshot. “Who was that?” he hissed.

“One of your knights,” said Merlin. “I don’t know his name.”

Arthur groaned. “That’s it. I’m going back to my rooms before I meet someone else I should remember.” He looked around. “Which way do I go?”

“Strangely enough,” said Merlin. “Back the way you came.”

-

Arthur is forbidden from attending dinner that night, even though they have guests, and he kicks the chair over again in response.

“Calm down!” said Merlin, righting it again.

“That’s easy for you to say,” said Arthur. “It’s not your memory that’s gone missing.”

Merlin didn’t answer. He just left quietly, and returned a while later with some dinner. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry about what happened, and I really hope it wears off.”

“It’s not your fault,” Arthur muttered, sitting down. But Merlin was thinking that he should have been able to prevent this, like how he’d prevented everything else.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur still has no memory the next morning. He lay in bed pondering this, and realised that the ceiling was actually quite familiar. He knew he’d seen it before.  
Then Merlin came in without knocking. “Are you awake?” he said.

“I am now,” said Arthur.

“Did your memory come back?” said Merlin.

“No,” said Arthur, and his mood must have come across in his voice. Merlin doesn’t question him any further.

Thankfully, Uther has decided that his memory loss is evidently lasting long enough to let other people know about it, and allowed him outside. Unfortunately, the king had decided to start the day by executing the sorceress who’d attacked his son.

“Do I usually watch that?” said Arthur, afterwards.

“No,” said Merlin. “You try and avoid it most of the time, I think.”

“Well, good for me,” he said, then slumped down into a chair. He knew he shouldn’t care that much, because she’d attacked him, and all of this was her fault, but... he did, and it was frustrating.

“Are you alright?” said Merlin.

“I’m fine,” he said. He looked up to find Merlin looking at him, a concerned expression on his face. “Really.”

Merlin nods, though Arthur’s sure he doesn’t believe him, and turns away.

-

Arthur is also allowed to go and practice with his knights later, and discovers, to his delight, that he remembers how to fight.

Well, sort of. He couldn’t tell you how to do it, but give him a sword and let him wave it around, and he feels as if he knows what he’s doing. He rather enjoyed it , particularly when fighting a knight who’d promised to ‘go easy on you, since you’ve probably forgotten everything, sire’.

He left him lying on his back in the grass, then starts questioning the others on what they usually do, exactly. Because he’d forgotten all that.

And he was happy to see that none of them commented on this, beyond answering his questions. He thought that maybe he remembered how to be a prince as well, and said so to Merlin later, when they were back in his rooms.

“Well, it’s good that you remember something,” said Merlin.

“It’s not really remembering,” said Arthur. “It’s more like... I just know.”

“Well, you have been trained to kill since birth,” said Merlin, and smiled. Arthur suspected that he wasn’t getting a joke.

-

Later that day, Merlin finally managed to get the magic book out of it’s hiding place, and sought out the spell. And there it was, just as he remembered it. He could do it. Arthur could have his memory back by the next morning (better to do it while he was asleep, so he wouldn’t notice).

But he couldn’t help hesitating. After all, he quite liked Arthur-sans-memories. He seemed to have forgotten that he didn’t like Merlin that much (or acted as if he didn’t).  
But he had to do it. Really. And he would. But not until later.

-

That night, Arthur was introduced to a woman named Lady Emily, who he hadn’t seen since he was a child and therefore shouldn’t remember (so he was told). He was also told to try not to let on about what had happened. Uther was quite insistent.

Lady Emily’s daughter was very quiet, and just smiled shyly a lot, but the lady herself talked a lot. Mostly Arthur just nodded along, until she asked him a question he couldn’t answer. It was about one of the knights.

“How is he getting on?” she said. “He came from my kingdom, originally. I suppose you’d know that?”

Arthur stared at her blankly. “Uh,” he said. “Yes, of course. He’s...” he trailed off.

“You must know him,” she said. “You haven’t got that many knights.”

Arthur looked to his father, but he didn’t seem to know either, and just glared.

“Uh,” he said, and stops at that. He took what became a very prolonged sip of his wine.

“Oh, for-” said Morgana, as he set his cup down.. “Lady Emily, Arthur’s suffering from memory loss. He has no idea who you’re talking about.”

“Morgana!” said Uther.

“Well, someone had to say it,” she said. “You wouldn’t want to offend our guest, would you?”

“I’m sorry,” said Arthur. “I really don’t know most people’s names any more. But if you describe him I might recognise him.”

Lady Emily laughed. “It’s quite alright,” she said. “How much memory loss?”

“A lot,” said Arthur. “The earliest I remember is waking up yesterday morning.”

“How awful!” she said. “No wonder you weren’t at dinner last night.”

Arthur smiles weakly, and glances at her daughter, who smiles back equally weakly. He feels that she must be feeling just as awkward as he is, like she’s in way over her head, so he smiles more warmly at her. To his delight, she beams back.

By the time he got back to his rooms, he’d had a bit to drink, and he’d realised something rather interesting about Merlin.

-

Merlin arrived back at Arthur’s rooms in slightly better mood. He’d almost managed to convince himself that giving Arthur back his memory would be a good idea, because at least it might put Arthur in a better mood.

But then to his great surprise, as soon as he closes the door behind him, he finds himself pressed up against it, with Arthur’s lips against his, and he let out a rather muffled sounds of alarm.

“What are you doing?” he gasped out as Arthur pulled back.

“Haven’t we done this before?” said Arthur, pulling him out into the centre of the room. Merlin shook his head, as best as he could manage. “Really? It feels so... familiar.”

And with that he kissed Merlin again. Merlin’s knees turned to jelly rather embarrassingly quickly, and he found a few minutes later, when Arthur ran out of breath and pulled away again, that his fingers had somehow tangled themselves in his hair.

Arthur’s arms were wrapped firmly around his waist. He realised he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

“We really haven’t done this before,” he gasped out, as Arthur’s lips moved to his ear, and then downwards.

“Are you sure?” said Arthur.

“I think I’d remember- ah!” Merlin gasps as Arthur bit down hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. “Ow! Careful!”

“Do you want me to stop?” Arthur muttered against his neck.

Merlin thought that he should say yes, because he knew Arthur was going to regret this, once he got his memory back and remembered why it was such a bad idea.

But somehow, his mouth disagreed. “No,” he groaned, and then Arthur’s hands moved to a new set of interesting places, and he found himself being dragged towards the bed.  
He opened his eyes once he was lying down, to find that Arthur’d lost his shirt somewhere, and was now kicking off his books. One of them hit something that sounded rather fragile, but neither of them turned to look.

“You’re going to regret this later,” said Merlin.

 

“Shut up,” said Arthur to his neck. “And take your shirt off.”

Merlin complied. At least Arthur _definitely_ couldn’t blame him for this.

“You’re going to regret this,” he said when it was over, rather breathlessly.

Arthur leaned back against the pillows. “You think so?” he said, frowning.

Merlin nodded. “When you get your memory back, and remember why it was a terrible idea, and that you don’t even like me that much. Not really.”

“I think I do like you, really,” said Arthur. “Even if I say I don’t.”

“You’re going to regret saying that, too,” said Merlin, and rolled over to face away from Arthur.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Well,” said Arthur. “Then I hope I don’t get my memory back for a long time.”

Merlin sighed, and rolled over again. “I don’t think it’ll be long,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t know that,” said Arthur, and reached for the covers. “Come on. I’m getting cold.”

-

Merlin woke up early the next morning, still in Arthur’s bed, and turned over to find the prince still asleep.

Well. This really was perfect, wasn’t it? He shifted across the bed, and tried to recall the words of the spell.

He hesitated for rather a long time before saying them, though. He almost hoped Arthur would wake up, and he could have another day before he remembered that he didn’t actually like Merlin at all. 

But Arthur didn’t stir, so he leaned over, and whispered them in his ear. Then Arthur made an odd, surprised kind of noise, which made Merlin jump, but he didn’t seem to wake up.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and slipped out of bed.

He was just slipping his shirt over his head when Arthur spoke.  
“Merlin,” he said, without opening his eyes. “Please tell me I dreamt the last few days.”

“Sorry,” said Merlin. “I wish I could.”

“Oh, God...” said Arthur, and sat up. He looked down at himself. “How could you let me do that?”

“I didn’t _let_ you do it,” said Merlin. “You’re stronger than me, remember?”

Arthur groaned, and started to get out of bed, then paused. “Merlin, could you pass me my clothes, please?”

Merlin collected Arthur’s clothes from their interesting new locations on the floor, and tossed them back to him. “Thanks,” said Arthur, as he turned away.

“So, um,” he said, looking around for his neck scarf. “I suppose you’ve got your memory back, then?”

“Looks like,” said Arthur.

“That’s good,” said Merlin. “Did it just... wear off, then?”

“I’m not sure,” said Arthur. “I think... I swear I heard someone whispering, and then... I just remembered again.”

Merlin froze. Arthur was silent behind him for a long time, and he didn’t dare turn around. What if Arthur realised what he’d done?

But then there was a rustle of cloth as Arthur stood up. “Never mind,” he said. “I suppose it just... wore off.”

Then he walked out in front of Merlin without no shirt on, and held out his missing neck scarf. “Cover up your neck, Merlin,” he said, and Merlin’s hand flew to where Arthur’s mouth had been the night before. “And go and change into some clothes that haven’t spent the night on the floor. You look a mess. Oh, and,” he said, just as Merlin turned to leave. “We never speak of this again,” he said fiercely, and Merlin nodded in agreement.

-

He got back to Gaius’ in a terrible mood. He wished he’d never worked that spell, now.

“Oh, there you are,” said Gaius, who was midway through breakfast. “Where’ve you been all night?”

“Nowhere,” said Merlin, without stopping. He needs to change his clothes.

“How’s Arthur?”

“Fine. Memory back. It wore off. No problem,” said Merlin, pausing briefly before going into his room.

“What did you do to your neck?” said Gaius, frowning, and Merlin adjusted his neck scarf.

“Nothing,” he said. “It’s fine.”

Then he hurried away before Gaius could ask him any more questions.

-

Arthur seemed to have decided that he needed to make up for the last two days. He insulted Merlin more than ever. And though, true to his word, he didn’t mention the night before, Merlin could tell he was angry. It showed in his voice.

So, after dinner, when Arthur practically threw an armful of dirty clothes at him, with the command that they be washed by morning, Merlin snapped. He threw them down on the table and glared.

“Do it yourself!” he said.  
“Don’t talk to me like that,” said Arthur, and turned away.

“I almost wish you hadn’t got your memory back,” said Merlin, folding his arms and turning to look at the clothes on the table rather than Arthur. “You were so much politer yesterday.”

“Well, if you feel that way, you shouldn’t have-” Arthur broke off. 

Merlin turned to face him, his eyes widening in shock. “Shouldn’t have what?”

“Nothing,” said Arthur.

“Shouldn't have _what_ , Arthur?”

Arthur didn’t answer for a moment. He just stood, immobile, staring off into space. Then he turned suddenly, marched over, and grabbed Merlin by his shirt.

“Do you think I don’t recognise your voice when I hear it?” he snarled.

“What-”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Arthur, I don’t-”

“Have you got any idea what my father would do if he found out?”

Merlin gave up trying to pretend he didn’t understand. “Believe me, sire, I’ve thought about it.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because- because you wouldn’t have got your memory back, otherwise!”

Arthur pushed him backwards, leaving him stumbling, and tugged his hands away. “You don’t know that. And… I would have been alright without it. You didn’t have to-”

“Are you going to tell him?” said Merlin.

“Tell who?”

“Uther!” said Merlin. “Your father?”

“You almost deserve it,” said Arthur. “For being so stupid.”

“You never noticed before,” said Merlin.

“How long have you been able to…” Arthur trailed off, apparently not willing to even say it.

“Always,” said Merlin.

“You really are an idiot, Merlin,” said Arthur, walking back towards him. “Why the hell did you come _here_?” Merlin didn’t answer. Arthur didn’t really give him a chance. “You really are an idiot.”

Then he stopped Merlin from answering yet again, but this time, rather than speaking, he grabbed him by his shirt again and kissed him hard. Merlin pulled back as quickly as he could manage.

“I thought,” he said, with Arthur’s lips a hair’s breadth from his own. “I thought we were never going to speak of this again.”

“We’re not talking,” said Arthur. “So shut up.”

Then his hands were gripping Merlin by his neck and ear, and they were kissing roughly and messily. When Merlin opened his eyes again they were somehow horizontal, and Arthur’s hands were underneath his shirt.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I thought you... I didn’t think you’d want to do this again.”

“I told you to shut up,” said Arthur, practically tearing Merlin’s breeches open (or maybe actually tearing them - Merlin heard a sound that might have been cloth tearing, but then Arthur starts doing something very distracting).

-

“So,” Arthur said sleepily, some time later. “You’re a sorcerer?”

“Yes,” said Merlin. “Yes, I am.”

“Is there anything else I should know?” Arthur lifted himself up slightly, from where he’d been sprawled across the bed.  
Merlin considered this. “Not that I can think of.”

Arthur grunts and lies back down again.

“Are you going to tell your father?” said Merlin after a moment.

“Tell him what?” Arthur didn’t even open his eyes.

“About me!”

“I have yet to decide. I’ll need to sleep on it. So please shut up.”

And with that Arthur rolled over and put out the candle. Merlin glared at his back for a while, but it quickly seemed futile.

-

“I’ve decided,” said Arthur as Merlin helped him dress the next morning. “That my father doesn’t need to know anything.”

Merlin grinned. “You really think so?”

“Of course,” Arthur continued. “If he ever finds out, I shall have to deny all knowledge.”

“Well, of course,” said Merlin. He stood back from Arthur. “You were right, though. It does feel... familiar. Sort of... natural.”

“Don’t be such a girl, Merlin,” said Arthur. And Merlin smiled. Because that was familiar too.


End file.
